So it’s Day 37 today…. no easy feat for all of those that have decided to change bad influences and have a life of sobriety…

Interesting reflection last night, my eldest 12 year old boy discussed over dinner time the party he was going to on Wednesday night (Intermediate leaving party) and that he had discussed it with me on the weekend. Now given any time during my drinking pastime, he probably did tell me and I have drunkenly forgotten, but I’m sober, and he didn’t tell me.  Has my 12 year old gotten so used to me drinking that he knows that he can make things up like this, and I’m none the wiser…. sent chills down my spine…. I’m so pleased that their new childhood memories are of their Mum – without a wine glass in her hand….

Day 33 today… Had an interesting night last night, went to a cancer fundraiser dinner and drinks. Offered to pick the girls up and be sober driver – these new alcohol limits are a “Godsend” as don’t need to justify why I’m not having even one if driving, the evening was good.  Felt quite social when I was there, chatted with the girls. Bit of a moment as I thought I was only funny if I had a few wines in my – go figure, I’m funny sober too!  Who would have bloody thought…. Had an enjoyable evening, was a good laugh, and I was sober. Got home pretty proud and while in bed with OH, mentioned that I did really well and wasn’t even tempted, well not tempted like usual and having the squash away pains of longing…. just got on with it and had a good time.  and Fun time.  Mmmmm this feels good

Well, surprisingly I haven’t been on here for a while… Must have been busy in Mrs D’s community. A quote from Mrs D’s book got me through the past week

Remember: It stopped being fun, It stopped being fun, It stopped being fun….

It’s been a tough ole week, I think the diet had my mind on other things whereas now it is back to the booze… I managed to lose 2.8kgs in the 7 days and started feeling really good, have started healthy eating and exercising, the exercising is great, the healthy eating is not having the results I’d like, so may do another 7 days pre Christmas.

My neck and shoulders continues to ache, and the tiredness continues to wear me down… but I’m trying to be sensible about this, probably everyone is feeling tired and worn down at the moment, it is the silly season after all !

My significant other continues to be the world of support to me, just quietly he tells me how proud he is of me, I have given him Mrs D’s book to read and he doesn’t read it, but then he doesn’t really understand how big a deal it is – and I have to understand that. The booze isn’t his problem – it’s all MINE!

We were hoping to get married in May, nice affair, but money dictates that it would be better to do something quietly, we are thinking about taking his big boys and my little boys to the registrar’s office just as we leave to go to Auckland – we can be in our 9s getup and just celebrate with our children – so we all will be leaving on Friday 30 January – that will be my DAY 82 – wow, that would feel good – you will be seeing it in my hair, skin and eyes by then and hopefully the body will be starting to shape up

Must re-read this post regularly,

xx

Well this morning I feel quite smug…. Day 19 sober – never achieved before and….

I’m sitting here watching Breakfast this morning (In NZ) and they are discussing the lower drink driving limits. So we have the same 600 limit and you’re automatically off to court and disqualified for 6 months, but now there is a limit of anything between 200-400 and you incur instant $200 fine and 50 demerit points!!!! For those that don’t know, if you get 100 or over demerit points within one year you automatically get disqualified for 3 months (sorry work in law firm and do limited licences!!) – it feels pretty cool/trendy/life saver to be a sober driver right now I’m your girl people!!!  Feels good….

And then there’s the “diet” – the moment when I went in to buy Jason Vales book about alcohol and came out with Lose 7lbs in 7 Days – so Day 6 today and so far down 2.6kgs – woop woop….

On a sad note – Rest In Peace Phillip Hughes – very sad for such a young sportman x

Day 18 sober and Day 5 on the diet – I definately felt like I was doing too much at once on day 2 and 3 of the diet, but now low and behold we’re at Day 5 – only 2 more days of juices!  And I’m suddenly at Day 18 sober – yay!   I’m reading Jason Vale’s book on booze (thats how I ended up on his 7lbs in 7 days juice diet!!!!) and it says you don’t need to count the days etc etc, and this is easy, not hard slog for the rest of your life, I haven’t finished the book yet so the light isn’t going off, cos it still feels pretty hard right now !!  Jason Vale, tell me the brainwashing erase button so this gets easy please ?????

Nobody said this would be easy.  Argh feel so darn exhausted with the effort today! It’s Friday, I’m tired and I’m not allowed to relax with a wine tonight. Friggin heck. It’s like I’m feeling ripped off, but it’s my choice. Bloody hard to explain but bloody hard work. Neck and shoulders still aching so much, don’t want to face work and everything that is going on there. Need to get through tonight and then tomorrow is work doo – argh, love my family, love my boys, love my partner – just gotta get on with it xx

Wahoo double digits LOL. The big “10” today. Feel great this morning. Last night passed with thoughts now and again, but nothing too drastic. I went to my lovely beautician last night, and I was telling her that our Christmas party is at so and so, she said theres a great pub there, thats where my sister punched my back tooth out!!!!!  Now this is not the image I had of her in my head LOL, she’s well groomed, well spoken, so we got chatting, and basically thats why she doesn’t drink anymore, got mouthy on the piss and didn’t have an off button, this is what she was telling me…. I wasn’t yet brave enough to talk about my story, but wow, this poison effects so many people and so many people are making better choices!!!  And I’m one of them  Have a great day xx

Hated Day 8. Had this wicked sore shoulders and neck thing going on all day, like the weight of the world was on them. So tense and sore!!!  Tried not to let it beat me down, went for a walk last night, definately helped.  I finished Mrs D’s book last night, and asked my partner (normal drinker) to read it. I’m hoping he takes it all in….. he thinks that I’ll be fine to have a glass a wine a night and not a bottle…. so hopefully will let Mrs D’s words explain it better than mine…. I went shopping for some more litrature and ended up coming home with Jason’s Vale Juice Diet – how to lose 7 pound in 7 days – have ordered the one about alcohol online lol, that was the one I was shopping for… Have a great Tuesday, it’s blowing its tits off in Hawkes Bay today

Wow – so it’s Day 8 today, The thing is I’m really needing to write some stuff down. The weekend was pretty hard, winery dinner Friday night had the potential to go all wrong and didn’t – didnt touch a drop. But today, argh, it’s not that I feel like drinking, it’s that I feel so yuk. My neck and shoulders feel like they’ve been hit with a volt of electricity, sore, achy, painful, then sore again – what the heck. Then my partner just texted me something completely that gob smacked me, he knows that I think I have a problem with alcohol, but we haven’t really said a lot about it. Start to talk then differ the conversation somewhere else etc etc, he’s just texted me to say how proud he is of me – hes noticed I haven’t drunk???!?!?!?! Wow, I’m proud of myself and don’t feel like a drink today, but fuck I feel terrible!!!!!!!!